Oh my! What if homosexuals were allowed to marry?

Oh my! What if homosexuals were allowed to marry?

This was my response to someone’s post about homosexuals being denied the right to marriage. I’m heterosexual myself, but I don’t see why the sexuality of another person should be any of my concern.

But but but if homosexuals were allowed to be married the gates of hell would open up and the demons of the devil would pour out from the underworld and enslave us all forever. The only thing standing in the way of complete doom for all eternity is the fearless work of those enlightened people preventing such marriages. 

Oh wait, I think that’s obsolete. I remember now, the sun will explode, enveloping us all in a million degree plasma.

Um, no, someone said our children will be fed to the massive invasion of zombies that will arise from hell just before the sun explodes, and they will be corrupted such that they will be wandering space for all eternity looking for their parents, which they can never find because, of course, their parents do not have legal rights to marriage.

At least it’s something like that. I think. But we must stop it. That’s what the bag lady told me, and the tea leaves, let us not forget the tea leaves! I heard the tea leaves foretold these great dooms if love is allowed between other than a man and a woman. Or maybe it was the knuckle bones? 

To me, it’s that silly that homosexuals are not allowed to marry. My favorite reason: “What will I tell my kids when two men or two women are seen kissing?” Um, that these are two people who love each other? Or damn, even that they are going to hell. What’s so hard about that? Just tell the kids whatever you think. If this is the most difficult thing you ever have to explain to them, well, you’ve got it easy. I mean, just wait until you kid is at the beach and sees two lady mermaids kissing? How the hell are you going to explain that, hmmm? And what if one of the mermaids has pink hair and tattoos? Oh my lord. The horror!!! Your kids will be scarred for life and beyond, without hope of redemption!

Sorry, you got me started. 🙂:-)

Of course homosexuals should have the same marriage rights as anybody else. I don’t even know why people even have this as a concern in their lives. Maybe their lives are so miserable …

But then, I tend to grant people the right to be themselves. I guess some people can’t do that.

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