Leave me alone!

Leave me alone!

Oh my, the comments about the video with the woman walking for ten hours sure have been fascinating. Since I’m sometimes very introverted, I can understand the desire to be left alone. But since I can also be very extroverted, I understand the desire to reach out. There are often days where I’ll great everyone I walk by, for hours, with a hearty hello or a compliment, and there are other days when I won’t say a word to anyone.

Something only a few of my closer friends know is I’ve been in some very abusive relationships, as the abused. I still have emotional and mental scars from them. The first was family and was physical abuse, and the second was my late wife who was very verbally abusive.

For many years, I equated the words “I love you” with “I am going to abuse you.”

It’s taken a long time for me to overcome the trauma of these events in my life. Those who met me shortly after my wife passed away probably remember how introverted and withdrawn I was at the time. This was not just from grief, it was a reaction to no longer being verbally abused every single day. It came from being attacked viciously again and again every single day I was married.

As far as the abuse from the family, well, it’s not something I generally talk about. I will say it was both mental and physical and it was not minor.

With the help of my religion and the friends I’ve gained in both the faire and belly dance communities, I’ve overcome, for the most part, the actions of those people. I am doing well and they are either passed on or doing very poorly. I think that’s the best revenge of all, that I am doing well, flourishing and prospering.

So when I see that video of the woman walking, I understand the mindset of “leave me the fuck alone” that is being put forward. I understand the anger towards the unwanted sexual advances. I understand, as one commenter put it, “just wanting to get from A to B in peace.”

But I also understand that we live in a world of people, and it is necessary to interact with others on all levels. There will be unwanted advances (I do not welcome, for example, an advance from a married women), strange greetings, rude comments, and so on. People are people.

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